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Almost News: Representatives Provided With Their Conclusions on Women’s Ordination ahead of Annual Council


2014 Annual Council organizers have stopped at nothing to make sure that delegates flying in from around the world for the October 9-15 General Conference-based meetings are adequately prepared for discussions of the council’s agenda items.

No other agenda item has received more attention than the issue of the theology of ordination. At GC President Ted Wilson’s request, representatives have each been sent what Wilson calls a “handy cheat sheet” outlining the women’s ordination conclusions at which they will arrive on October 15.

“Understanding Biblical principles of ordination is no challenge for the weak-hearted,” said Wilson. “We want to make sure that our leaders that will be attending Annual Council are fully equipped for the task.”

“The question of whether or not to ordain female ministers is obviously highly controversial,” said Ben Dumpty, Chief Organizer for Annual Council. Dumpty explained that the organizing committee had closely studied recent Adventist conferences on sensitive issues such as the correct stance on homosexuality and the debate over origins and creationism for best practice clues on how to prepare representatives.

“We found that a lot of the back and forth agonizing can be eliminated if President Wilson addresses meeting representatives on day one and simply provides them with their conclusions from the outset,” said Dumpty. “To reinforce his address on whether or not to ordain women we are sending attractive “Say No” cheat sheets ahead of time.”

Sevvy is a writer at the anonymously-authored humor and satire blog

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