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After Hours


She:  You’re home!

He:  Can’t believe it.

She:  What?

He:  Another whole day debating.

She:  Decide anything?
He:  Guess so.
She:  What kind of an answer is that?

He:  We disbanded the Columbian Union Conference.

She:  What?

He:  We disbanded the Columbia Union Conference?

She:  One more time.

He:  You heard me.

She:  You disbanded the Columbia Union Conference?

He:  Right.

She:  What for?

He:  Had no choice.

She:  Why?

He:  Other union conferences might do the same thing…

She:  What did the CUC do?

He:  Pretty serious.

She:  Start preaching against Sabbath?  Keep the tithe?  Protect child molesters?

He:  Nothing like that.

She:  Something worse?

He:  In a way.

She:  Really?

He:  The CUC decided to ordain women.

She:  So?

He:  Not getting into that.

She:  Why not?

He:  Not the issue.  Rebellion is.

She:  You’re kidding!

He:  This is serious.

She:  What happens when men are ordained?

He:  You know.

She:  People talk about the man’s good work as a pastor, they read the Bible, they kneel, they put their hands on his head, they pray, they get up and they shake his hand.

He:  You forgot something.

She:  Help me.

He:  They say, “And now for the first time we introduce Elder So and So.”

She:  Why can’t we do this for a woman?

He:  That’s not the issue.  The rebellion of the CUC is.

She:  Does our church say that we cannot pray for women ministers in public?

He:  Of course not.

She:  Put our hands on their heads?

He:  In 1990 the church said that the time had not yet come.  Said the same thing in 1995.

She:  That’s 22 and 17 years ago.

He:  Yes.

She:  Virtually a whole generation,

He:  Right.

She:  Many of the people who were there in 1990 and 1995 are dead.

He:  Probably.

She:  I say enough time has passed.

He:  No.

She:  How much more time do we need?

He:  Several years to study the Bible.

She:  No matter what the Bible says, can’t you put your hands on the head of a woman and  thank God for her successful ministry?

He:  Not yet.

She:  And that God will continue to bless it?

He:  Don’t rush things.

She:  And that God will be with her husband and children?

He:  We’re not ready for that.

She:  And that when she feels all alone that she’ll remember that she really isn’t?

He:  Too soon.

She:  Do you know what you’re saying?

He:  You don’t understand.

She:  Yes I do!

He:  Getting irritable?

She:  So what if I am?

He:  It’s not nice to get upset.

She:  And today you guys were nice?

He:  Please calm down.

She:  You can burn your own toast in the morning!   

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