Just a note to everyone, I'm sorry that this month's film club discussion is so tardy. It isn't Bob's fault--he's the one who stepped in to help when my original reviewer fell through. Thanks Bob!

I watched this film also with some trepidation. Actually, if I hadn't seen so many good reviews of it, I'm not sure a film that featured a silicon sex doll would have ever enticed me to the theater. When my weekly CT email called this film one of the best portrayals of a Christian community ever, I decided to check it out. It's simply a beautiful film that's well written and well acted. The doctor is brilliant, and I love that she explains to the family that "Bianca is here" whether they like it or not. Mental illness doesn't just go away because we wish it so.

The way the community decides to embrace Lars and his "girlfriend" models grace in such a powerful way that it often brings both tears and laughter.

What I found insightful was that there was no groups advocating for the right to marry plastic women in the movie. No groups marching the streets saying God made my son to love plastic women or if my son wants to have a monogomous relationship with plastic woman, who are you to deny my son his civil rights?
What made the unified and sympathetic response possible was that there was complete agreement in the movie by the community that the devient/deluded behaviour was unfortunate and non desireable.
They took the same attitude one takes with a 6 year old that passionately believes in Santa Claus. They supported in a way that resulted in him inventing the conditions that led him ever closer to seperation from that lifestyle.

I am forced to wonder if the reviews would have been as good if in the end instead of him killing her, he had been encouraged along lines where he decided to marry her.

I enjoyed this film immensely. As I recall, it's set in Iowa or Minnesota, and having lived in Nebraska (working at Union College) for four years, I can say (as a born East Coast person and now a Californian) that part of the message of this film is how rooted and grounded in reality and love the good people of the Midwest are. I often miss that goodness.

It's good to see how many of you had a positive experience with this film. Michael--Lars doesn't "kill" Bianca, although with a stretch I can see how you might say that. As Alex points out, Bianca is a "stand in for [Lars'] own process of individuation." The grace and acceptance that the community shows him allows him to grow in his understanding of relationships and even the divine (the church plays a big role in this film), which is what allows him to let go of Bianca, mature, and move on to a relationship with a "real girl."

Lars held a normal job (one that required extremely little human interaction), but the filmmakers clearly show that he isn't fully functional. He is chronically and pathologically shy and unable to engage in full relationships with equals. Remember how hard his sister-in-law is trying to get him to engage and how it isn't working? He hides when she knocks on the door. And his relationships at work are non-functional. Even at church he can't engage (the whole comment about the fake flowers to the church lady foreshadows his relationship with Bianca).

Bianca is a symptom of his immaturity and inability to deal with "real" people (his brother thinks it's because he was left alone with his father who had lost the ability to give love). To paraphrase the psychologist, Bianca was there for a reason, and when she was no longer needed, she left. The incredible ability of the community to embrace him and Bianca so they really entered into his struggles with him is what gave him the space to eventually mature and heal.

I also LOVED the line "that's what people do when there's a tragedy. They come over and sit." Really, we want to DO so much that we often forget that. And I think there are lots of real-life examples in my own community of people doing that in tragedy. Nothing to be done but come and sit.

Another favorite moment--Dr. Dagmar also opens herself up to show her own woundedness by admitting she wished that she could have had a baby. That's often what allows us to be part of the healing process--our own admission of our own weakness.
The entire community is shown to have their own problems--and admitting those is part of them being present in Lars' pain.

I agree, however, no community could keep this up for too long. But I have also seen groups of people really come together for wounded persons. They might not know how the healing will occur--but just as often they don't know what the real problem is (as we can only guess at Lars' real pathology). They do what they can for as long as they can.

Loved it. Thanks for the recommendation.

Greg has a great point about why Bianca likely showed up when she did, and I'd say that her arrival also signaled to Lars' family and the community just how much he needed their help.

Karin was reaching out to Lars before the arrival of Bianca--as Greg points out, in almost a ridiculous manner of unconditional love. However, it's often quite easy for us to just get used to someone's quirks and mannerisms so that we might just go on with our lives not realizing that they really aren't okay. I know I've been guilty of that--it's not intentional, but we all get caught up in our own lives so easily that we miss the subtle signs others give us that they need help. A life-size plastic doll is not a subtle sign--she was a gigantic, flashing billboard saying "I need help" to the whole town. What was so beautiful and uplifting about this story was that they listened.

I haven't seen it yet, but this conversation is making sure that I do. I am struck just by reading here that this doll's reality comes from the life breathed into her by the compassion and creativity of the community. We were only mud dolls before our Primal Lover did that for us. No wonder Lucifer thought He was nuts.

Hello from Croatia...saw the film yesterday with my wife...that is what we need in our churches.