A Spoof Letter on Growing Up in Academy in the 1950s

Greetings Class,

Can you believe it has been fifty years since we graduated from the academy? I’m quite sure our teachers never thought we’d amount to much of anything since we were a bothersome lot. They are dead now and can no longer praise or sympathize with us. Because of my heart condition, I am unable to attend the reunion. Another thing, I went around a corner the other day and my left leg fell off. I am in a wheel chair now.

I dug this up from the old underground Adventist Rearview edition of Spectrum that I created back around April 1, 2005. Needless to say, it never saw the light of the printing press, although some folks did find it online.

Everyone knows kids say the darnedest things. But only parents know how often kids lead you to speak, pause, review what you just said, and wonder at the improbable language required for childrearing. We say insane stuff every day.

When I get the time, I'd like to create a random generator of things parents of young children have either said or will eventually say. All the computer would do is select a random choice from each of these categories:

Editor's Note: Today we're introducing a new series on the blog, a series about the challenges of raising loving, spiritually-aware kids from Michael Bennie who blogs about his experiences parenting his three young daughters (a 5-yr-old and 3-yr-old twins).

We've all seen email forwards like this, but I thought that y'all might appreciate a lil' humor as we move into the weekend.

1. He had only one major publication
2. It was in Hebrew
3. It had no references
4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal
5. Some doubt He wrote it Himself
6. He may have created the world, but what has He done since?
7. The scientific community can’t replicate His results
8. He never got permission from the ethics board to use human species

Bush may be in the UAE today trying to stir up the neighborhood to act on the real and present dangers of the rogue regime with WMD intentions in Iraq—I mean—Iran (and likely finding that his credibility froze over years ago, even in the desert, right about the time he was unfurling his “Mission Accomplished” banner ), but I’m on a Southwest 737 having my first experience with levity and laughter onboard a plane since that defining day in September six plus years ago when all smiles seemed to leave the skies for good.