If the book of Job were written by a contemporary middle aged guy from Oregon, chapter 5 verse 90 might read:

No longer concerned or caring about what to call God and energized by his ire, he walked up to the door and decided to bang loudly and see what happened, but just as he raised his fist to do so, the door flew open, and he was looking directly into the face of a large beaming African-American woman. [1]