After Hours
She: You’re home!
He: Can’t believe it.
She: What?
He: Another whole day debating.
She: Decide anything?
He: Guess so.
She: What kind of an answer is that?
He: We disbanded the Columbian Union Conference.
She: What?
He: We disbanded the Columbia Union Conference?
She: One more time.
He: You heard me.
She: You disbanded the Columbia Union Conference?
He: Right.
She: What for?
He: Had no choice.
She: Why?
He: Other union conferences might do the same thing…
She: What did the CUC do?
He: Pretty serious.
She: Start preaching against Sabbath? Keep the tithe? Protect child molesters?
He: Nothing like that.
She: Something worse?
He: In a way.
She: Really?
He: The CUC decided to ordain women.
She: So?
He: Not getting into that.
She: Why not?
He: Not the issue. Rebellion is.
She: You’re kidding!
He: This is serious.
She: What happens when men are ordained?
He: You know.
She: People talk about the man’s good work as a pastor, they read the Bible, they kneel, they put their hands on his head, they pray, they get up and they shake his hand.
He: You forgot something.
She: Help me.
He: They say, “And now for the first time we introduce Elder So and So.”
She: Why can’t we do this for a woman?
He: That’s not the issue. The rebellion of the CUC is.
She: Does our church say that we cannot pray for women ministers in public?
He: Of course not.
She: Put our hands on their heads?
He: In 1990 the church said that the time had not yet come. Said the same thing in 1995.
She: That’s 22 and 17 years ago.
He: Yes.
She: Virtually a whole generation,
He: Right.
She: Many of the people who were there in 1990 and 1995 are dead.
He: Probably.
She: I say enough time has passed.
He: No.
She: How much more time do we need?
He: Several years to study the Bible.
She: No matter what the Bible says, can’t you put your hands on the head of a woman and thank God for her successful ministry?
He: Not yet.
She: And that God will continue to bless it?
He: Don’t rush things.
She: And that God will be with her husband and children?
He: We’re not ready for that.
She: And that when she feels all alone that she’ll remember that she really isn’t?
He: Too soon.
She: Do you know what you’re saying?
He: You don’t understand.
She: Yes I do!
He: Getting irritable?
She: So what if I am?
He: It’s not nice to get upset.
She: And today you guys were nice?
He: Please calm down.
She: You can burn your own toast in the morning!