Prayers of a (Sometimes) Insomniac
Dear Lord, sometimes this job is too much for me. Listening to the pain and heartache of your children leaves me sobered and sad. And sometimes unable to sleep. As the stories play out in my head I ride the turbulent waves of their distress as in a small boat. The sea of emotions is wild and the winds of uncertainty strong. But then you are there, and you say: “Peace be still!” and the wind and waves subside and calm returns. And I sleep; my heavy head resting on your lap. Thank you, Lord.
*****
I want to thank you, dear Lord, for being with me when I wake in a fog of fright, heart pounding, thoughts racing. Thank you for being there to comfort and steady me. And thank you for being with me as I sit on the edge of the bed, shocked by the frightful terror my brain visited upon me as I lay vulnerable in the supposedly safe arms of sleep. When I toss and turn and fight with thoughts and images that wrench me away from the brink of sleep, thank you for being close. Thank you for your presence when sleep just won’t come or I have woken up, for the umpteenth time, to pressing issues which will not wait for morning light. May I, dear Lord, creep into a fold of your robe and hide there from all that frightens and vexes me? Would you mind if I dozed off, safe and snug, in your protecting presence? Oh Lord, I do so need the blessing of your sweet rest.
*****
What a blessed week. I look back and the bounties of your grace, oh Lord, overwhelm me. In particular, Lord, I thank you for sleep. I never thought I would sleep like this again – deeply immersed in the shadowy, blue-velvet world of dreams. It is a privilege to sleep, to enter that other reality where energy is restored and memory consolidated. And then to wake, at first heavy-eyed and slow, to the surprised realisation: “I have slept!” This is indeed a blessing like none other.
*****
I thank you Lord
for
the well of sleep
where I can dip my bucket
long
and
deep
I thank you Lord
for
the gift of sleep
Deanna Pitchford is a Psychologist, living and working in Brisbane, Australia. She longs to be more aware of the ways in which God manifests in daily life.
Image: “Christ in the Storm on the Sea of Galilee” by Ludolf Backhoysen, 1695
